Too Many Goats for Me to Get Yours
by XPyroFoxX
Summary: An awesome trip to an amusement park for a job might not be what Lucy is expecting. It might just turn into a very... goaty situation. NaLu ish


**ThisIsMeTalking:D**

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><p>"Natsu... What are you doing?" Lucy sighed as she slid into the booth the dragon slayer was currently occupying. One minute she was stressing over rent money and the next she was slamming her palm on her forehead at what this idiot was up to. I mean seriously? Who does that kind of thing?<p>

"Chewing on a table." He stated, like it was one of the most normal things in the world. His expression was so serious that is was hard not to burst out laughing.

"Pffft, I can see that"

"Then why did you ask?" Natsu said with a pout before going back to the important task of imprinting his teeth into the poor furnished oak.

"Because, it's not normal to chew on a table."

Why she was saying this to Natsu of all people she had no idea. He had done stranger and yet he still deigns to call her weird.

"Lucy, let's go on a job!" Natsu shouted enthusiastically, and randomly, as he hopped up from his seat. "I saw this really cool one where we get to go to an amusement park!"

Lucy stared at him suspiciously then sighed.

"Alright, I guess I need the money. Where is it at?"

"I'll go get it!"

Before she could say another word he was already on the other side of the guild, hunting for the mission sheet. _Sheesh I meant what town._

Looking around, Lucy saw Erza over by the counter talking with Gray. The conversation didn't look to be going in a good direction. For Gray at least. Ezra was yelling about something to do with ruining some little girl's pure eyes. Gray on the other hand looked like he was trying really hard not to wet his pants. Err, boxers. He had lost his pants in the time Lucy had blinked.

_Come to__ think of it, the "strongest" team hasn't been on a mission together for some time... _

Which was true. Lucy couldn't even remember what the last mission she went on with them was, other than it ended horribly.

"Lucy! Found it! Lets go!"

Lucy was then ripped from her thoughts as the overly enthusiastic dragon slayer grabbed her arm and bolted towards the main doors, with Happy flying close behind.

"Wait! Why don't Erza and Gray come with us!" Lucy cried, trying, and failing, to get Natsu to release her wrist.

Natsu breaked. Hard. You could hear an audible screech come from his sandals. Natsu, who tripped over his squealing shoes, was the first in a chain of crashes.

Natsu crashed into Gray, Gray crashed into the floor, Lucy crashed into Natsu, and Happy crashed into Lucy. There was now a pile of limbs, heads, a tail, and torsoes right in front of the door. Which at that moment, decided to fly open and reveal Erza, who had went outside to fetch the laundry with Wendy. And she was not pleased to see a pile of dying people in front of the door. That wasn't good for reputation y'know.

Of course there was a series of cat calls and wolf whistles from the rest of the guild. There was even one Ooooooooo like the cat off of Puss in Boots.

"Natsu! Get your fat ass off of me!" Gray yelled. Although it was muffled by the floor as that's what he had his face violently pressed to at the time, courtesy of Natsu's "fat ass". Natsu, on the other hand stayed silent. He had a full view of Erza's shoes and he knew what was coming.

"And what, may I ask, are you doing?" Erza asked with venom in her words "Natsu, Gray you better not be fighting. If you are and you dragged Lucy into it I will toss you into a pit of hyenas with rabies."

"Heheh, Hi Erza." Lucy mumbled as she scrambled to get off the lump of humans and a cat. "We just all tripped and fell, nothing wrong here."

Erza's face immediately relaxed. "Fine then, hurry and pick yourselves off the floor."

"Yes, ma'am!" Came a chorus of voices as the mages heaved themselves off the floor. This involved lots of rolling, shoving and kicking in the boy's case.

"Lucy~~~ you smashed my fish!" Whined Happy. He was crying while looking at the sad, broken remains of his bass.

Lucy sighed for what seemed the thousandth time that day. Table chewing, extreme tackling practice and now smashed fish. It was only ten in the morning. This was going to be a long day.

Leaning down she rubbed Happy's head and uttered a few soothing words, promising to buy him a new one as soon as possible. He sniffed and nodded, much like a toddler who had been told that he had to wait to play with his new toy truck. Then, standing up she turned to the males who were currently pretending to be best friends and Erza who was watching her comfort Happy.

"Ok, so Natsu did you want to ask them to come with us?" She asked the salmon haired dragon slayer.

"Not really... but I guess they can if they really want too..." He mumbled, his bottom lip sticking out.

"Go where?" Gray inquired

"Uhh, an amusement park I think. Natsu wanted to go so I agreed." Lucy answered.

"Sounds good! We havn't been on a mission together since doomsday." Erza remarked

"Why not, when we leavin'" Gray shrugged.

"Now" Lucy chirped grabbing on to Natsu's arm. "You shoudn't need any clothes. It's just for the day" She added, glancing at Erza. The one who had the packing issues. Lots of 'em. "No, that does not mean that you can strip Gray" She said after thinking a moment.

After a few minutes of bustling around gathering things to take with them, including but not limited to- Sun glasses, sunscreen, hats, money, wind goggles, pants, eye patches, key chaines, MP3s, hair ties, vodka, a wii, ice crem, mobile DVD players, pet turtles, tacos, bats- baseball, a futon, and a marker they were finally ready to go. All the while Natsu stood by the main doors with a face half in between confusion and a pout.

In a blur they were on the train. Gray, Wendy; who they had caught while walking out the door, and Erza in one seat, with Gray staring out the window ignoring everything and everyone, Wendy smiling awkwardly in the middle, and Erza happily noming her strawberry cheesecake. Natsu and Lucy in the other. Natsu was leaning on Lucy's shoulder with a green face, trying really hard not to puke in fear of Lucy getting mad and switching places with Erza. Happy was in the middle of the seats chomping on his newly bought fish with Carla looking at him disgustedly.

"Oh yeah! Natsu, let me see the mission sheet."

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><p>"WHAT THE H. E. DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS WERE YOU THINKING WHEN YOU SAID 'AMUSEMENT PARK'!" Came a very furious shout from a very furious blonde who was very furious. Did I mention she was furious? Well, she was. Very.<p>

They were not at an amusement park. Not an amusement park for humans any way. Goats... maybe.

They were currently at a country house, surrounded by all things goat. Close the house were two barns one white and one red. What you could see outside were lot of wide open pens full of goats of all ages. There was an odd assortment of what Lucy assumed were toys in the pens, the items ranging from milk crates to bowling balls to tabels. Goats were everywhere, even running loose in the front yard. Lucy could even see a baby one peeking out from behind a curtain IN THE HOUSE.

Upon walking up to the obiously high fashioned house a short late teens looking girl came out a side door. She was wearing a dark green tank top with khaki shorts. She was wearing flip flops, which Lucy thought was just crazy with all the goats running around. She had a very pretty shade of dirty blonde hair that went just passed her chin. At a shorter distance you could also tell that she had beautiful green eyes. She was also very, very tan.

"Hey, what brings ya'll way out here? Surely ya ain't the ones who took the request I posted 'while back right?." She asked with a obviously country accent.

"Yup that would be us" Natsu chirped, jumping up and down a little.

"Ha! No way! I wouldn't figure guys would come to do this job, or was it you girls who drug 'em here?" She asked leaning sideways to peer around Natsu at Erza, Lucy and Wendy.

"No actually he dragged me here and I dragged them here" Lucy said pointing to each in turn as she spoke.

"Really? I'm guessin' he didn't tell ya what the mission was? I heard ya yelling from inside the house."

At this Lucy blushed from embarssment and shook her head no to the "Did he tell you" part. The dirty blonde then stood up strait and smiled sticking a hand out to Natsu, who was closest.

"Well then, I'm Bailey, pleased ta meet 'cha!"

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><p>They were now standing inside the white barn. There were stacks of hay bales in one corner, but mostly it was one large pen. Of course all around were goats, but they were mostly babies. Everywhere there were these little tiny things running around, playing, sleeping, and peeing. Most of the lot were around two or three weeks old but a few looked just a few days. Bailey did a fast description of what kind of goats they were and what they were used for. Their breed name was Boer and they were used for meat. Bailey's farm was one of the best show goat farms in the kingdom. Show goats are used as a sort of nicer breed standard that are taken to various shows and judged upon several traits that are wanted in meat animals. These traits are muscle, balence, structure, and finish.<p>

The girls were distressed learning that all these little cute kids **baby goat term **were most likely to be eaten. Bailey had to spend some time explaining that meat is what they were made for, bred for, and raised for and they had good lives up to their inevitable end. Plus, goat tastes good.

Anyway, they were surrounded by baby goats and Bailey was describing what the girl's jobs were.

"Your job is the funnest." Bailey said as she scooped a kid off the floor "You get ta feed the bottle babies. It's not very hard. If you put a bottle in front of their face the'll suck on it jus fine"

She led them to a smaller pen in the corner surrounded by straw bales. There were a couple heat lamps strung over it casting warm pools of white light onto about sixteen little fuzzy kids. Upon seeing Bailey a few got up and ran to the fence making pathetic noises that sounded close to a quieter form of a screaming baby.

They crawled over the short fence trying not to step on the fuzzy white balls of "I'm hungry" screams. Almost immediately a couple kids started chewing on jeans or shoelaces and other lose articles of clothing.

"Eep! You didn' t tell me they bite!" Lucy whisper-screamed exasperatedly while waving her hands in the air.

"They don't. They don't got no teeth" Bailey laughed. "Spit won't hurt you none, all they drink is milk and then they chew on stuff"

At this Lucy puffed and turned away, almost tripping over a small red kid. She leaned down and picked it up holding it away from her cautiously. The kid looked at her curiously and made a small high pitched 'mah' noise and wiggled a bit causing Lucy to hold it closer. It was soft and tiny but at the same time you could tell it wasn't as fragile as it looked. Little muscles covered its body like wrapping paper and it was surprisingly warm for how little it was.

"That's Root Beer, ain't she cute? Here I'll show you how ta feed 'er." smiled Bailey as she strolled up holding an old glass pop bottle with something white inside. Lucy looked around and saw Erza and Wendy were already working on feeding.

"Just take this Root Beer bottle and a nipple, stretch it over the top and... Walaa, goat baby bottle. She's pretty funny, only liked the Root Beer bottle when she first had ta be bottle fed and the name stuck."

As soon as the bottle was by Root Beer's face she latched on and began sucking noisily downing the bottle surprisingly fast. It was adorable to watch.

Lucy cocked her head at Bailey "Why do some have to be bottle fed?"

"Mama dies, too many for a firs' time kidder, too modest to shove, or they're just sick. It depends really... We got alot of Mamas this year so there are more than usual but I don' t mind 'em. They're friendlier than the other that's for sure."

"Oh... that's kinda sad..."

"Somtimes, but don't worry too much they'll be fine. Better get to work all these need fed"

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><p>The two boys were soon put to work cleaning out pens. This wouldn't have been so bad if the buck's pen hadn't of been one of them. <strong>A buck is a Billy goat, basically a stud goat and if that doesn't give enough of a hint... er... it's the male that gets the babies coming. From that you should be able to tell that girls are does, like deer.<strong>They arn' t downright mean, but they do have the tendency to headbutt you, like literally head to butt. And they have horns. Natsu and Gray had to come up with a defence plan of someone shovel and someone shoo.

Happy and Carla were sent to the hay loft to catch mice. This went about as well as you can imagine with Happy and overall they caught most of them... without killing themselves at least.

Lucy and the girls definitely had the best jobs. After feeding the kids, Bailey showed them how to dump feed in the does feed troughs without getting trampled. This was fun because you have to move fast before they all get there. It was like a game of don't notice the ninja and tag combined.

On the train ride home the only ones awake were Natsu and Lucy. The rest were all in the other seat passed out from the long day.

"Natsu, don't you dare puke on me"

"... Did you have fun Lucy?" Natsu gargled trying to tame his nausea.

"Yeah... actually I did... a lot... why?"

"It said that this was the perfect job for girls because of the babies... and you looked distressed this morning so I thought I could cheer you up... Did you get cheered up?"

Lucy had never thought of Natsu being considerate before, but here he was, being considerate.

"Haha Yeah I got cheered up just fine"

"Good, I just wanted you to be happy..."

"Is that why you said it was an amusement park?"

"Yeah... I didn't think you would go if I mentioned goats..."

"Hell yeah you were right but I'm glad I went"

"Really?"

"Really. Now stop talking or you're gonna throw up"

Natsu didn't say that he was upset that the whole team came along. He had just wanted it to be Lucy and him feeding baby goats. He hadn't even got to do that. He didn't know that if guys came along they had a different job. His Lucy was happy though and that ment he was a happy dragon slayer

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><p><strong>I can't believe I just did over 2,800 words on a random mission with goats... Is that getting carried away? Oh well I guess... <strong>

**Questions? Comments? It terrible? It good? Ocnfusign? ~ Confuseing? Seriously though leave a comment I want to get better at this... I don't know maybe it's crap because it's only my like third or foruth story but tell me SO I CAN FIX IT! Btw computer doesn't have spell check sooo if words/Punctuation are wrong tell me and I'll fix it Merry Christmas!**


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